The Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes

This is a tribute to Cleveland, the birthplace of Rock n Roll and home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum. The base tier, designed to look like a brick wall, is flanked on 3 sides by guitars inspired by the GuitarMania statues found around the city of Cleveland and the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame Museum.

GuitarMania is public art project that raised money for the United Way of Greater Cleveland and the Hall of Fame Museum's education programs. The statues are oversize Fender Stratocaster guitars that are transformed by local artists and national celebrities and displayed on the streets of Cleveland. The statues are sponsored by corporations, organizations, and individuals. 

The circular wall is topped by a stack of 45 rpm records complete with the little, yellow plastic spindle adapter in the center. As I was placing the adapter in the center hole  far easier with the fondant version than the actual plastic adapter which would break 3 times out of 10  it occurred to me that my generation might very well have been one of the last to involuntarily experience these annoying little devices. They were only required by turn tables with Stack-O-Matic spindles. These spindles allowed the user to pile on a stack of maybe 5 or 6 vinyl discs on the spindle and they would drop one at a time to the turn table and play in sequence. So, each disk had to have it's own adapter. I've never bothered to research why it was necessary to have different sized spindle holes if the first place.

Topping the stack of singles is 2003 Rock n Roll Hall of Fame inductee Elvis Costello in an approximation of his trademark stance from the cover of his debut album, My Aim Is True. Unlike the guitars at the base, Elvis's guitar is based on the Fender Jazzmaster.

Of the comments this figure received, one of my favorites was, "Nice  Fingernails," so be sure to click the image for the larger view. Apparently the fingernails are something to behold."

Hofner Violin Bass Cake

The Hofner Violin Bass is perhaps best known as the instrument of choice by former Beatle, Paul McCartney. The appeal for the left-handed McCartney was the symmetrical shape of the bass guitar which made it easy for the manufacturer to swap the location of the pick guard and controls to accommodate a left-handed musician. This cake is decorated to resemble the "right-handed" Hofner model. Fortunately, this does not impede the ability of left-handed guests to enjoy the cake since it can be served with either a right or left-handed fork. 

The cake was slightly smaller than actual size and the tight production schedule required a few anatomical inaccuracies but I was very fortunate to have an actual Hofner bass to use as reference. If I had to work solely from photographs this would have been a much more difficult task.

Essenvergnügen

For this cake I was not just basing the design on one of history’s most recognizable vehicles but also on a specific car with a specific history. I was more concerned with authenticity than I was with accuracy. The cake had to fit the memories not the facts.

I guess this technically qualifies as a car cake but it's really about the guy protruding from the engine compartment. The car/cake is just a prop, an accessory to the figure of the man, not the other way around.

The cake was created for a 75th birthday celebration. A custom birthday cake should evoke memories and encourage the telling of stories. Otherwise the conversation might stray to that worst of all birthday questions, "How does it feel to be 75?" which usually establishes the low water mark of any birthday celebration.

Did I succeed in my objective? I hope so. One gratifying comment was, “The thing that is missing is the bored kid standing next to the car holding the 3/16” socket wrench. I owe my understanding of fractions to that car.”

So, yeah, I think I’m good with it.

More Evidence That I'm Getting Old

Who is Snookie?

If the answer is anything like the one for "Who are Heidi and Spenser?" please just pretend I didn't ask.

The Slightly More Than Half Truth

I saw an article on the CBS News website about Facebook Security. The article quoted a security expert who claims that 40% of all Facebook profiles are fictitious. Let me say that again. 40% of all Facebook profiles are fictitious. I don't remember the name of the expert but he was quoted by CBS in his capacity as an expert so he must know what he is talking about, right?

It got me thinking. Which 40% of my Facebook profile is fictitious? Clearly the parts about my stunning good looks and superior mental abilities are exaggerated if not completely false but that only accounts for about 35% of my profile content. There is another 5% made up, presumably, of bald faced lies that is still unaccounted for.

I am wondering if that elusive 5% is fictitious not because I reported information that is false but because I conveniently omitted vital information that is true?

Until this situation is resolved I want to assure all my Facebook friends that statistically speaking I am still 60% factual. I just hope that is enough.

You might want to change that in your copy...

I think it's a safe bet that if I had written the English language things would be spelled a lot differently.

Slipping Mother Goose a Mickey

It's not often that someone asks if the monstrosity on my decorating stand is a bald, naked Mick Jagger. It's even less often that I am able to answer in the affirmative. However, recently this was the case. The monstrosity in question was a nursery Rhyme themed cake. The specific subject was the rhyme about Jack who must be both nimble and quick in order to jump over the candle stick.

Having been born to the generation that can't hear Jump and Jack in the same sentence without immediately thinking of  Jumpin' Jack Flash (the song, not the film), I naturally cast Mick Jagger as my not-so-nimble Jack.

The rhyme doesn't actually say that there is a candle in the candle stick let alone a burning candle but in my mind there is always a candle in the candle stick and it is always burning. So, my Jack who happens to be Mick is getting a bit singed because he doesn't quite clear the candlestick. Not to worry, there is a fire extinguisher and a washtub of water (which is actually poured sugar).


I was concerned about achieving a decent likeness and I felt that in order to get the right look Mick had to have a tongue. I'm both happy and sad with the result. I really liked the tongue but it is barely visible in the mouth. It creates the look I wanted but I also want people to be awed and amazed by the tongue but it sits far too unobtrusively in Mick's mouth.

The cake is decorated to look like an old and worn volume of Mother Goose rhymes on which Jack's trampoline, candlestick, fire extinguisher and washtub are arranged. The cake board is intended to resemble an old desk with graffiti scratched into its surface.

The graffiti includes such gems as, "Humpty Dumpty was pushed," "Your mother lives in a shoe," and as a nod to my friends at Cake Wrecks, "Nuts Allergy."

"Whatta Ya In For?"

Do Twilight themed cakes pose any hazards to decorators or consumers? And I'm talking about more than just the dayglow surprise one is likely to get after consuming so much black food coloring. The answer   under certain conditions   appears to be, "Yes."

I come to this question in a roundabout way. I was thinking about marketing    or maybe just about showing off. As a kid it seemed that all any budding artist who wanted to get some positive attention had to do was knock out a respectable Mickey Mouse or Snoopy. The same kid could crank out an original creation and possibly get some ooohs and ahhhs but the real attention grabbers were the well known cartoon characters.

This is understandable if you consider that the other kids had no point of reference for an original creation. Was it expertly or poorly drawn? Even if the drawing was perceived as well executed it still didn't have the emotional equity of a Mickey Mouse, or if the kid was really showing off, Spider-Man (and all those little web lines on his costume). Clearly, the publicity cost/reward ratio for drawing Snoopy was better than that of drawing "this monster-thing I just thought up."

Of course, as adults we   the hypothetical young artist, his equally hypothetical peers, and I   have a greater respect for the creative process and for originality. Except for those times when we don't; those times when we feel the emotional draw of the comfortable and familiar.

When attending a cake show I enjoy watching the other attendees almost as much as I enjoy studying the cakes. Small groups with cameras saunter past the rows of exquisite buttercream roses and fondant swags, periodically stopping to take a photograph. Then they come to the Dora the Explorer Cake. They stop. They point. They whisper. Then they photograph the cake from every possible angle while commenting that they have to email a photo to this person or that, who will, "just die when they see it."

 While these folks might feel unqualified to critique those difficult to master piping and fondant techniques, they know a good (or bad) Dora the Explorer when they see one. They, like the rest of us, are drawn to the familiar. So, as a cake decorator it seems practical and economical to associate my talents and services with icons of popular culture.

However, "cashing in" on the popularity of something like Stephanie Meyer's Twilight stories   you thought I'd forgotten about the Twilight cakes    and/or the actors who portray Meyer's characters on screen raises several questions. First, is it a creative cop-out to hitch my wagon to someone else's popular creation, such as Twilight? And second, how long before I get a Cease And Desist order (or worse) from those who hold the rights to the Twilight franchise?

Now, I know a little about the joys/hassles of product licensing. I am not using the hyperbole of the lawyer who has been practicing for 30 years and says, "I know a little something about the law." I literally know "a little" about what is involved in creating a product around a licensed, copyrighted entity.

I mention this because copyright violation is a growing issue as non-traditional cake decorating grows in popularity thanks to TV shows like The Ace of Cakes. The increased availability and use of materials like fondant and gum paste facilitate the edible replication of famous entertainment icons like Mickey Mouse or the Peanuts gang. The internet makes it easy to share photos of these replications with friends. And simple naivete makes it easy to cross the line into copyright violation.

I don't have any statistics but I suspect that most copyright violators go unpunished and likely unaware of their trespass. While it has been suggested that both sellers and purchasers of unauthorized merchandise can be named in copyright violation suits, it is not cost effective to prosecute every time Mickey or Snoopy is misappropriated for a child's birthday party.

I have noticed, however, that the use of licensed characters is being discouraged or banned by cake show organizers who want to protect themselves and their sponsors from potential law suits. While no cakes featuring copyrighted characters are being bought or sold at the shows, the act of including photographs of  such cakes on an organization's web site or in printed materials can be interpreted as the use of copyrighted characters to promote the organization's enterprise. In other words, the show organizers, sponsors and participating vendors are profiting from the unauthorized use of a protected property.

So, maybe the loftier question of whether or not using established pop-culture icons to demonstrate my mad cake decorating skills is a creative sell-out takes a back seat to the more pedestrian threat of legal action. If I ever found myself in something resembling the Hollywood version of a police station holding cell, filled with tough, menacing cell mates and one of them crowds me and asks, "Whatta ya in for?" I suspect that, "Cake decorating," might not be the ideal answer.

Not a Word Was Spoken

Sometimes the world can be a scary place. Especially when you are cornered by a gang of blood-thirsty mimes. But I don't need to tell you that.

Jazzin' for Blue Jeans

I was invited to participate in the Parade of Cakes, a new addition to the Capital Area Food Bank's 7th Annual Blue Jeans Ball. The event raises awareness and funds to support the activities of the Food Bank.  With the generous support of area restaurants and businesses the Capital Area Food Bank, and it's small army of volunteers, throws quite a party.
 
This year marks the 30th Anniversary of the Capital Area Food Bank. The 30th Anniversary was one of several possible themes for entries in the Parade of Cakes. Another suggested theme was to highlight items from the Food Bank's Most Wanted Donations list which focuses on those non-perishables that contribute to a nutritionally balanced diet. The list also includes other items like common cooking spices as well as toiletries like toothpaste and deodorant.

I was called in as a second stringer after, as I understand it, another participant hand to cancel. So, with about a week to plan and execute a cake design I predictably latched onto the "Most Wanted" theme as in America's Most Wanted . Thinking in that vein, non-perishables sounded enough like The Untouchables and  I had a kind of crime themed design. The final design had some of the non-perishable items posing for mug shots and something about a bank heist.    

I guess I was about half way through production when I realized that I did not want to trivialize or even hint at the idea of robbing the Food Bank, even in jest. Re-design time. I toned down the crime aspect. I even worked in a stick of deodorant as a nod to the toiletries on the Most Wanted list. I thought no one would go all out on toiletries for a cake design.


 I was wrong. Chef Heather Mackey, pastry chef  for the Marriott Wardman  Park Hotel, created a toiletries themed cake that featured a full tier decorated to look like rolls of toilet paper with a spare roll off to the side. This was complimented by edible bars of soap, a gum paste toothbrush and toothpaste, and the top tier was a box of facial tissue.

I was both pleased to see that at least one other entry took a humorous approach and disappointed that I had been out toiletried by another decorator. Let's be honest, how can you not love a toilet paper cake?

I got to meet Chef Mackey and several other culinary masters from the Marriott Wardman Park. Chef Mackey related some amusing incidents from the creation of the toiletries cake, several involving the reactions of co-workers. I didn't have any funny stories about my cake. Even if I did, could they have been any better than stories about a toilet paper cake? Probably not.

Despite my toilet paper cake envy, it was a great event and I met some really cool folks. Kinda hoping I get the chance to do it again.